


Tapeworms on my penis the movie

by SnailFriend



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, M/M, immature jokes, low effort content, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 07:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18442175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailFriend/pseuds/SnailFriend
Summary: Alfred must win the national hardcore metal ska jazz hybrid lofi kidcore competition and earn Kiku's love.





	Tapeworms on my penis the movie

Fic theme song: https://youtu.be/XVON0vP8k4s  
Other fic theme song: https://youtu.be/mOaoXvYgZS0

Alfred walked up to the song store with a big smile on his big face on his big head. He wanted to buy a song that he could sing in his hardcore metal ska jazz hybrid lofi kidcore band so that he could win the national hardcore metal ska jazz hybrid lofi kidcore competition and impress the love of his life, Kiku “Hardcore Hentai Lover” Honda (aka KHHLH). KHHLH was the most sexy and epic musician of all time. He was famous for making ahegao faces while playing a guitar behind his back and hitting the drums with his penis. The trick, while impressive, had really taken a toll on him. His eyes were rolled into the back of his head and his penis was swollen and purple-ish. Rumor had it that he was going to retire at the national hardcore metal ska jazz hybrid lofi kidcore competition by committing seppuku live on stage. This competition was Alfred’s last chance to win his heart.  
So Alfred walked into the song store and bought a really cool song and then he went to the competition. He walked behind the stage and saw none other than KHHLH himself! KHHLH and his band, the Lovely Loli Rainbow Rockers, were the only other people there because they were the only other hardcore metal ska jazz hybrid lofi kidcore band on earth. Alfred started to hyperventilate as he approached his hero/crush/wet dream star.   
“Oh hi, my name is Alfred aka BigBuffaloBucker76. I’m also competing as well. Also you are my hero and I am, in fact, deeply in love with you. Nice to meet you.” Alfred threw up a little in his mouth.  
Kiku turned to face Alfred. “Konichiwa, Alfred-kun. I am KHHLH desu, demo you may call watashi Kiku,” he said in a weird american accent.   
“Thanks, Kiku.”  
“BigBuffaloBucker76, it’s your time to compete,” said a worker person.  
“Ok epic thanks,” Alfred said as he walked up on stage with his two bandmates. He stepped up to the microphone and immediately felt sick. There were 5 whole people in the crowd. It was the biggest crowd he’d ever performed for. He hyperventilated into the microphone. The crowd cheered.  
“Okay so basically I’m gonna perform this song and it’s going to be so good that Kiku is going to fall madly in love with me so please enjoy it thanks,” he said. Then he took the song out of his pocket and started to sing.   
“I staple tape worms on my penis  
So the flesh worm will drink brainjuice from your fetus  
(4X)  
Feel the blood gushing from your anus  
(2X)  
Feel the blood gushing from your anus  
(4X)

Tape worms on my fucking penis!  
Penis!  
Tape worms!  
Tape worms on my penis!  
Tape worms on my penis  
Tape worms on my peniiiiiii....!” he sang as his bandmates played their instruments. The audience was moved to tears. It was the greatest performance of the greatest song of all time. Alfred even did half a backflip. Kiku was so impressed that he ran onstage and took off all his clothes and said “America i mean alfred please have anal sex with me” and america said ‘ok thanks’ and then the fic ended.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry


End file.
